Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
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