my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
