It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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