I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
