you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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