If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
