Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
