Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
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