Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
