i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
