soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
i used baking grease as lip gloss
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
