She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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