YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
