did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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