theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
