I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Randomize
