I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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