Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
