If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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