Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
