Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
