No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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