Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
pop tarts are not kleenex
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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