shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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