I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I think people are normalizing furries
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
