woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
