Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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