I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
