Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
third nipple confirmed
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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