How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Green mimosas i think yes
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
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