i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
