I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
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