Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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