You're completely useless in the revolution.
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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