dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I licked your asshole in confidence.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
