the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Randomize
