It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
