im about as happy as oj after his trial
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
