We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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