normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
