lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
