Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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