what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
The power of my boobs compel you
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
