im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
