Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
