My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
