just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Randomize
