my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
