I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
