you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
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