I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
