I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
